Disappointment

I listened to this podcast today, “Speaking With Joy,” the episode called “Disappointment.” described in this blog, hosted by Joy Clarkson. What a lot to think about! If you have an hour (maybe on your commute?), listen to this. Joy speaks of the millennial generation and the disappointment they embody. I had never thought about that myself, but it makes a lot of sense. I also thought about disappointment in relation to our church.

Joy uses songs from a band, the movie “Lavender Ladies,” and Wendell Berry’s novel, Hannah Coulter to illustrate disappointment. I also was reminded of an old Lake Wobegon story that Garrison Keillor told called “Tomato Butt.” In it, he describes the misery of being a child in the hot, humid summer of the midwest with no air conditioning, and the special agony of living next door to someone who has an air conditioning unit. He and his family has to listen to the neighbor’s cooling unit’s hum and cool-making noises as they sweat in the unrelenting heat. When he complains about it to his mother, she says, “Make the best of it.”

Joy, herself a millennial, says:

i don’t want my generation to be defined by their disappointment.
i want us to be defined by what we made of disappointing times.

When describing the movie, she says that one of the two sisters, who are the main characters of the movie, nearly misses the surprise of a new chance of happiness in her life because she is trying to force the fulfillment of an early disappointment in her life. Joy says the movie taught her:

If you have disappointments in life, to be able to live a good life, you have to -- at some point -- put them to rest. And if you don’t let go of them your hands won’t be open to new things, new surprises, to see the new goodness around you. The more that you hold on to the vision of life that you thought your life would be the less you’re able to embrace the good things that come along in your path.

Joy quotes Hannah Coulter thinking:

There is no ‘better place’ than this, not in this world. And it is by the place we’ve got, and our love for it and our keeping of it, that this world is joined to Heaven. . . .

’Something better! Everybody’s talking about something better. The important thing is to feel good and be proud of what you got, don’t matter if it ain’t nothing but a log pen.’

Having been a member of our church for close to 40 years -- and I know some of you have been there even longer! -- and having seen what now seems like “the golden years” of our church history, when we had full pews, lusty singing, multiple small groups, large fun-filled youth groups, and many get-togethers just to enjoy each others’ company, there are times I experience disappointment. I wish we could become again at least some semblance of what we once were. I sometimes go down the rabbit hole of asking what made our church change.

This podcast reminded me to “make the best of it” with “this place we’ve got, and our love for it and our keeping of it,” to put my disappointment to rest and open my hands “to new things, new surprises, the new goodness” around me.

That’s what hineni is, right? Opening our hands and hearts and saying, “Here I am, Lord, ready and willing to do what you ask.” We look forward to the joyful surprises ahead. And all God’s people said,...Amen!

"The more that you hold on to the vision of life that you thought your life would be
the less you’re able to embrace the good things that come along in your path."

Where is Hineni?

sent to the Hineni group today:

You may have noticed (ahem) that we have not had a Hineni meeting for quite some time. At first, I was waiting until October, now I am waiting until after the council retreat Nov. 16, but really I have a confession to make.

Confession: I'm feeling a little discouraged by the book, The Externally Focused Church. I haven't actually gotten more than halfway through, so I know it's not fair to make a judgment yet. And it's a good book. So why am I feeling this way? It's because there are a lot of examples in the book of what other churches are doing, and they sound like more than we could hope to do. It's discouraging.

"Compare and despair." That's what a favorite author of mine says and that's what I try to remember. And there is truth in the book:

One of the most effective ways to reach people with the message of Jesus Christ today is through real and relevant acts of service. Honest, compassionate service can restore credibility to the crucial message we have to share. To tell the truth, we must show the truth. (p. 11)

For the most part, though, our churches have forgotten to show God's love. And all too often, what we show doesn't match up with what we tell. (p. 12)

As we've all heard many times, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." (p. 12)

Right? Of course right! So what's the matter with me?!

I read an article lately where the author said we should talk less about discipling and more about being a friend. I like that! When I'm talking to someone, I'm not real clear on how to disciple, but how to be a friend to that person -- that I can figure out. I've been thinking a lot about this. How can we as a church be better friends to others, to each other, to ourselves, to our community?

We will meet again, and we'll keep talking about "Here we are, Lord, ready and willing to do your will." Please pray. For me, each other, and the church.